Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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