Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
