So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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