you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
