Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
