i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
