She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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