Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
