Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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