I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize