I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
