dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
