Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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