im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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