ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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