in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
high people should be assigned attendants
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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