just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
