dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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