Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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