Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
