what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
