my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my shit smells like andre
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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