you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My dick has a subreddit
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
