Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
