singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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