I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
