I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this will be a night to untag.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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