we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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