Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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