Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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