so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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