So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
