I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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