My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
