just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize