you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
