Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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