I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize