If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
two words: eviction party
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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