How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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