Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
In America we eat man semen.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
