On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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