Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
