I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
