Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
