How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
