We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
