Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
