well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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