I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
