I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize