Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
