Dude my mom stole all your condoms
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's blow job season.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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