My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
