This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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