It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
