Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
