if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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